Are you suffering from codependency?

Posted by on Feb 4, 2016 in Family, Obstacles

Codependency is an addiction to people, behaviors, or things. Do you… 1.   deny your feelings stuffing them deep inside of you? 2.   anticipate the needs of other people, but unaware of your needs? 3.   feel like a victim stuck with no way out? 4.   deny reality to cope in your codependent world? 5.   allow the ghosts of your past to torment you? 6.   always give but never receive? 7.   attempt to control people, behavior, and things? 8.   assume responsibility for the choices people make? 9.   suffer from lack of boundaries in your life? 10. have difficulty setting boundaries? 11. allow people to consume your thoughts? 12. allow other people to control and manipulate you? 13. experience difficulty making decisions and distrust the decisions you have made? 14. seek to please people fearing rejection? 15. have difficulty saying “No” without feeling guilty? 16. live in denial, anxiety, and fear? 17. define yourself by your relationships? 18. look to others as the source of your fulfillment and happiness? 19. have a habit that dominates or continues to repeat itself in your life? 20. know there is something missing inside of you? 21. confuse compassion, pity, or comfort for love? 22. know your faults and take responsibility or do you shun responsibility? 23. take better care of people in your life than yourself? 24. suffer from wavering between dependence and interdependence? 25. feel unloved and empty? Jesus said, “The truth shall set you free.” John 8:32 Codependents want control and the thought of giving up control is frightening as fear rises choking the life out of us. We feel like we are losing ourselves and dying as we give up control. Trust is difficult. Feeling unloved and unlovable we hold onto anger, resentment, and fear. Facing our fears, relinquishing and surrendering ourselves to God is the beginning of healing. In the past I doubted God loved me or even knew who I was. My head said He loved me, but my heart doubted Him. Are you there? Have you been there? I questioned Him and was angry. God is so good and patient with us. He whispers in our heartaches, tears, and unbelief. He loves us in and through the pain. Surrendering and walking in fellowship with Him, engaging in conversation throughout the day, makes the painful recovery process easier. Run to Him. Rest in His loving arms as He walks with you on the road to recovery. Trust Him. He loves you. Brenda Luther Thirteen One Coaching February 2, 2016...

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Thankful for God’s blessings…

Posted by on Nov 23, 2015 in Values

  Thanking God for… 1. Smiling faces of children 2. Hugs that warm the heart 3. Beaches with glistening sparkles of sand and lapping waves washing over me 4. Stars sparkling in the midnight sky 5. Moon beams that light my path 6. Mountaintops allowing full view of God’s glorious world 7. Laughter that brightens faces and fills one with joy 8. God’s love, grace, and forgiveness 9. Green grass that tickles and crunches underneath my feet 10. Food that replenishes my body 11. God’s Word that fills and ignites my soul searching for truth 12. Books that take me places I otherwise could not go 13. The privilege and blessing to live in the United States of America 14. Blankets on a cold windy night 15. A home filled with love 16. Sunshine to brighten my day reassuring me of God’s presence 17. Blue skies filled with fluffy white clouds 18. Rainbows brightening the sky after the rain 19. The sound of rain splashing against the window pane 20. God gave me life to enjoy, people to love, and Himself 21. Music that inspires, encourages, lifts my spirit, and blesses me 22. Clean, sparkling spring water 23. The beauty of the sunrise in the morning and the sunset in the evening 24. The sound of the waves splashing on the seashore 25. Chimes blowing in the wind outside my kitchen window 26. Birds singing their songs in the early morning 27. The train whistling as it passes through town in the wee morning hours 28. Wind blowing through the trees 29. Beauty of flowers reminding me of God’s goodness 30. Seasons that come and go as God blesses me with beauty and the renewing of the earth 31. Soldiers and veterans for their sacrifice and willingness to serve our country 32. Freedom to worship 33. Doctors and nurses who strive to keep me healthy and free of disease 34. Friends who come alongside and offer encouragement 35. Jesus, my friend and Savior May God bless you and your family with laughter, joy, peace, and love. Brenda...

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Posted by on Oct 7, 2015 in Action Steps, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help, Uncategorized

God asks…”Do you trust me?” We waver back and forth in our decision to trust Him. Often we take matters into our own hands with the attitude, I can do it on my own. God asks…”Do you trust me?” Do you trust me enough to: 1.  let go and let me be in control? 2.  step back and wait on me? 3.  accept my forgiveness? 4.  accept the sacrifice of my Son, Jesus, for your sins? 5.  accept salvation that is offered freely? 6.  give me all the burdens dragging you down and keeping your mind unsettled? 7.  help you forgive someone who has hurt you deeply and pray for them? 8.  heal your wounds inflicted upon you by a spouse? Child? Friend? Co-worker? 9.  give you strength of character, wisdom, and knowledge to face the questions and the answers encountered in daily living? 10. forgive your spouse, friend, or family member who turned their backs on you, slandered your name with lies, and refused to accept responsibility for their behavior? 11. trust me and be obedient to my Word? 12. accept my love? 13. follow me? Do you remember the song Trust and Obey? “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey.” It was one of the first hymns I learned to play on the piano. My sisters and I used to play church all the time. Believe it or not, I was always the preacher. Amazing, because I was a shy little girl. My sister, Glenda, played the piano, and my sister, Diane, and I were the singers. Singing and playing church were two things I enjoyed besides riding my bike. Church was one thing we knew. Every time the doors opened we were there. I am thankful that my Mother taught me the love of Jesus and encouraged me to follow Him. There is no greater gift we can give our children than to teach them of Jesus and His love,  to trust  and follow Him accepting His gift of salvation. We grow up. Life happens and through the difficult times our faith and trust in Him falters. Doubts assail our thoughts. We waver in our trust of God wondering and questioning Him in the midst of pain, suffering, loss, and difficulties. Eventually we realize that living life on our own is not working and we turn to Him. The words of the song are true; “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey.” Lord, may our answer to the questions today be, “yes”, and may each of us  surrender all to you trusting in your unfailing love. Help us to rejoice in you as you heal the pain that disrupts our joy and robs us of precious moments with our family and friends and the joy...

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God’s Grace…Is it Sufficient?

Posted by on Sep 22, 2015 in Obstacles, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help

  “God’s Grace…Is it Sufficient? Journeying through life, encountering problems, suffering emotionally, lacking motivation, and trudging along the path questions invade our mind about God’s grace. Moments of indecision wavering with the sufficiency of God in the search for resolution and the struggle to trust God. 1.  The lack of joy or motivation in your spirit raises the question “God’s Grace…Is it Sufficient?” 2.  When conflict with loved ones causes you to question your actions and your motivates. 3.   A family member or friend suffers from sickness and answers to prayers do not come.  “God’s Grace…Is it Sufficient?” 4.   Life is full of uncertainty and your thoughts are in turmoil. 5.   Although you are reading your Bible, praying, attending church, and seeking God you feel your spiritual life is stagnant. Your spirit seems cold and unyielding and God seems far away. 6.   People fail you and you are disappointed and fail to understand. Questions flood your mind. 7.   The darkness surrounds you and fear invades your spirit as you search for meaning in your life. 8.   God seems far away and you feel empty inside wondering, “Where is God?” 9.   Something is missing in your life and you wonder, “What am I missing?” 10. The questions come when jobs are lost, finances are in disarray, and there appears to be no hope. 11. God is silent and you wonder, “Has God forgotten me?” 12. The questions arise, “Does God love me?” 13. Where is God in your time of doubt, sadness, wandering, floundering, and questioning Him? It is impossible to figure out life on your own without God. He is with you, walking beside you, guiding, and leading you along the path He has laid out for you. Following Him when you question, “God’s Grace…Is it Sufficient?” Experiencing feelings of being forsaken, rejected, and alone you continue to seek Him knowing in your heart that He is sufficient for all your needs. Whatever I have, whoever I am, I can make it through anything with God who gives me strength. Philippines 4:13 I command you–be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you, wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 …Nothing is too hard for God. Jeremiah 32:17 Paul pleaded for the Lord to remove a thorn in his flesh, and the Lord replied, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9            God displays His power in weaknesses giving hope and courage to trust Him. Trusting in Him, He gives what is needed. Discussing weaknesses is not a joyful topic. The desire to be strong and self-sufficient is the goal. God has other plans. He desires for strength and sufficiency to come from faith and trust in Him. Our faith falters in the attempt...

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Depression – Seeking to Help

Posted by on Sep 16, 2015 in Action Steps, Depression, Goals, Spiritual Help

Depression…                                                                                                                                                                             When seeking to help someone suffering from depression it is important to show unconditional love and listen with a non-judgemental attitude. The suffering of depressed people among us is a call for us to help by reaching out and giving unconditional love and acceptance, and offering encouragement as we come alongside to help them move forward. Many of us have suffered from depression and can identify with those who are depressed. Our goal is not to enable. Our goal is to encourage them to reach out for help, to set goals, to change their thought pattern, seek God and learn more of Him as they search for stability and peace. Suggestions for encouraging people suffering from depression.  1. Come alongside showing unconditional love and acceptance.  2. Encourage a healthy nutritious eating plan.  3. Pray with them and encourage Bible reading and prayer.  4. Listening is more important than giving advice.  5. Share and encourage listening to inspirational music.  6. Support them setting aside time for exercising, walks in the  park, hobbies, family and friends.  7. Encourage fun times and laughter with an invitation to a movie or a concert.  8. Remember the power of touch and kind words.  9. Keep in touch by phone, occasional visits, or plan lunch on a regular basis. 10. Send an occasional encouraging card. 11. Plan a fun trip to the beach, mountains, or a picnic with friends. 12. Help and encourage them in setting goals to move forward. 13. Encourage them to seek medical help from a doctor who treats depression. People Caring for Family and Friends For people who care for family and friends suffering from depression it is important to care for yourself and your own emotional needs while seeking to help others. Suffering from Depression? For those suffering from depression – every day we have a choice. I understand how difficult making a choice can be, struggling to get out of bed, the stress of getting dressed, driving to work,  interacting with people, and muddling through another day. My prayer is that you will refuse to surrender to depression and seek help to rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings that are robbing you of happiness and the joy of friends and family. If you are suffering from depression, I encourage you to see your doctor or a counselor. Great is his faithfulness:  his mercies begin afresh...

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