Love and Marriage

Posted by on Feb 13, 2016 in Love, Marriage, Marriage Tips

                                                                                                                                                                                                              In your marriage what may seem so small and insignificant may often be the thing that makes the one you love feel loved and appreciated. There are many ways to say, “I love you,” but never forget to speak the words.                                                                                                           Ways to share and say, “I love you” in your marriage:  Leave no room for doubt that loving your spouse is your priority.  Express appreciation and gratitude for all that is done for you.  Give each other room to grow. No one wants to be smothered.  Practice patience even when irritation threatens to overwhelm you.  Kiss goodbye and hello. Tell your spouse I love you and you are important to me.  Protect your marriage by setting time aside at the end of the day to spend together.  Always act with a respectful attitude in word, deed, and action.  Maintain a home filled with love, seeking one another’s best, and a safe atmosphere to share your deepest thoughts and feelings.  Seek friends who encourage you and your marriage.  All the things that irritate you let them go or discuss them and come to a resolution.  Avoid the people in your life who seek to pull you apart, cause disruptions, and dissension. Look for ways to encourage instead of complaining and learn to talk and listen to one another.  Always stand up for your spouse. Never gossip or allow anyone to talk unkindly about them.  Look for opportunities to show love.  Hold hands, hug, and be affectionate.  Prayer is effective and a tool that should not be forgotten in safe guarding your marriage.  Reading God’s Word together helps you view life from God’s perspective.  Refuse to harbor resentment or hold grudges. Let it go.  Don’t give up. Your marriage is worth fighting for.  Make the decision to stay together and love one another regardless of the difficulties.  Marriage is important and not to be taken lightly. Pray for your spouse. Be intentional about your...

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13 Traits of Right Relationships…

Posted by on Jun 1, 2015 in Love, Marriage Tips, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help, Values

  1.   Accept – you for who you are 2.  Comfort – gives you reassurance  3.  Defend – protect and guard you  4.  Dependable – reliable, faithful  5.  Encourage – nurture, inspire you to reach your dreams  6.  Energize – gives you inspiration to reach beyond the ordinary  7.  Kind – affectionate, loving  8.  Motivate – creates a desire within you to be all you can be  9.  Patient – never rude, tolerant 10. Promise kept – what they say is what they do 11.  Trust – honest and integrity 12.  Understand – if not, love you anyway 13.  Listens – not only to the words, but listens with the heart, engaging in conversation Relationships can be good or bad and bad relationships can put you on the wrong road. When we make wrong choices and become involved in wrong relationships we can be influenced to make wrong decisions. Listen. God will warn you. “Lead me by your truth and teach me,  for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” Psalm 25:5 brenda@thireteenonecoaching.com          brenda luther        ...

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13 Recommended Books

Posted by on May 25, 2015 in Marriage Tips, Obstacles, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help

These are a few of the books that have impacted my life. I have been a lover of books and an avid reader since I was a young child. My first book that I remember not counting the Bible was The Wizard of Oz given to me when I was six years old.  Books can take you places you have never been, teach you things you did not know, and enrich your life. If you are not a reader, you are missing out on so much good stuff. My mother taught me to love books. My earliest memories of my childhood are of my mother reading stories about God to my siblings and me at bedtime and then we would knell beside our bed and pray. If you have a book that has made a difference in your life, please send me an email. I would love to hear from you. 1. All In – Mark Batterson You are one decision away from living a totally different life 2. Walking with God – John Eldredge Talk to Him. Hear from Him. Really. 3. Boundaries – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend When to Say Yes When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life 4. Created to Be God’s Friend – Henry T. Blackaby How God Shapes Those He Loves 5. Broken Down – Paul David Tripp Living Productively In a World Gone Bad 6. Loneliness – Elizabeth Elliott It can be a wilderness. It can be a pathway to God. 7. The Insanity of God – Nik Ripkin A Faith Resurrected 8. Wild at Heart – John Eldridge Understanding the Secrets of A Man’s Heart 9. Attachments – Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy Unlocking the Secret for Loving and Lasting Relationships 10. Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain – Paul Hegstrom, PH.D Understanding the Effects of Your Wounded Past 11. The Five Love Languages – Dr. Gary Chapman How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate 12. Having A Mary Heart in A Martha World – Joanna Weaver Finding Intimacy With God In The Busyness of Life 13. When God Stopped Keeping Score How to Break Free From A Past Filled With Hurt, Guilt, and Anger Through the Power of Forgiveness – R.S. Clark, M.Ed. The Bible is the most important book written and God’s instruction book to us on how to do life. We learn how to love, guard our hearts, pray, how to love and serve other people, develop relationship with God and serve Him, and much more. This is one book we ought not neglect. God speaks to us through His Word guiding and teaching us bringing us closer to Him. Brenda Luther Thirteen One Coaching...

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13 Ways to Show Your Love

Posted by on May 18, 2015 in Family, Marriage Tips, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help, Values

  Attributes of love… 1.  is patient 2.  is kind 3.  is not jealous 4.  is not boastful, proud, or rude 5.  does not demand 6.  is not irritable 7.  keeps no record of wrong 8.  is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out 9.  never gives up 10.  never loses faith 11.  is always hopeful 12.  endures through every circumstance 13.  will last forever Love is defined in I Corinthians 13:4-8 giving us a description of God’s kind of love. Our selfish nature goes against this kind of love because it is selfless and not focused on our needs, but on the needs of others. To love directing love outward and not inward toward ourselves we need God’s help to set aside our selfish nature. The more Christlike we become the more love we can receive and share. Faith, hope, and love are intertwined together. It takes faith, hope in the power of God, and acts of commitment and sacrifice as we allow God to love others through us expecting nothing in return. “…but if I didn’t love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.” I Corinthians 13:1-3 brenda luther     thirteenonecoaching.com    ...

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Finding Joy and Fulfillment

Posted by on Mar 13, 2015 in Marriage Tips, Personal Growth Tips, Recent News

In marriage when reality and disillusionment pervades the spirit and the original feelings of love evaporates it is time to step back, look at your strengths and the successes you have experienced in your relationship. God said in Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” God does not want you to give up on your marriage but continue to trust and put your hope in Him. Acts of kindness, encouragement, and offering forgiveness helps to strengthen your relationship. It is possible, if couples desire, to recapture love and passion for one another by seeking to understand one another’s strengths. All of us desire to be heard, known, and loved. We suffer emotionally when we feel hurt, neglected, or misunderstood. Understanding our strengths help us to bond the marriage relationship, creating a relationship that brings joy and fulfillment. You may feel that all is hopeless and feelings for one another are dead but God has placed each of us exactly where He wants us to be. In Jeremiah 29:11 the Lord declares, “For I know the plans I have for you…” Evaluate and recognize each others strengths and weaknesses. I Corinthians 7:7 “…But each man has his own gift from God, one has this gift, another has that.”  God gives each one of us different gifts and strengths to compliment one another. Have you ever considered that we all have different gifts but love is available to all of us? Allow God to use those gifts and strengths you possess to strengthen your marriage and ask Him to love your spouse through you. Embrace and celebrate your differences in your marriage and make the choice to be in the relationship and love one another. “True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.” (M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, p 119)...

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Guard Your Heart

Posted by on Mar 11, 2015 in Marriage Tips

M. Scott Peck in his book, The Road Less Traveled said, “Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other.” (p98) The butterflies in the stomach we associate with falling in love fail to last. These feelings are an inadequate foundation for marriage although one may feel that everything is all right with the world. Failure to see the real person and recognize their imperfections eventually brings heartache and the breakup of the relationship. Emotions come and go, feelings are fleeting and change as couples spend time together and begin to know one another. Feelings cannot always be trusted. Difficulties in the relationship occur when, for example, you realize they are self-centered, preoccupied with their job, or desire to spend less time with you. To build relationship together takes time, energy, conversation, sharing of our stories, reading scriptures, nurturing one another, being emotionally involved and engaged with one another. Love is seeking then other person’s highest good and requires discipline, sacrifice, and acceptance. Relationships can be good or they can lead you down the wrong road. In the desire for relationship we need to seek God and heed His warnings. In Proverbs 4:23 God said, “Above all else, guard your heart…”(NIV) What attracts us to one another? A smile? Personality? Character? Kindness? This immediate attraction can be fleeting or may develop into greater love and understanding of one another as spiritual intimacy is pursued. As we grow together love, faith, and hope increases. Relationships that last are built on God’s design for marriage in His Word. It does not mean there will be no problems but when the problems occur we stand together seeking God’s desire for our marriage. Brenda...

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