Posted by Brenda Luther on Jun 1, 2015 in Love, Marriage Tips, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help, Values
1. Accept – you for who you are 2. Comfort – gives you reassurance 3. Defend – protect and guard you 4. Dependable – reliable, faithful 5. Encourage – nurture, inspire you to reach your dreams 6. Energize – gives you inspiration to reach beyond the ordinary 7. Kind – affectionate, loving 8. Motivate – creates a desire within you to be all you can be 9. Patient – never rude, tolerant 10. Promise kept – what they say is what they do 11. Trust – honest and integrity 12. Understand – if not, love you anyway 13. Listens – not only to the words, but listens with the heart, engaging in conversation Relationships can be good or bad and bad relationships can put you on the wrong road. When we make wrong choices and become involved in wrong relationships we can be influenced to make wrong decisions. Listen. God will warn you. “Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” Psalm 25:5 brenda@thireteenonecoaching.com brenda luther ...
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Posted by Brenda Luther on May 25, 2015 in Marriage Tips, Obstacles, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help
These are a few of the books that have impacted my life. I have been a lover of books and an avid reader since I was a young child. My first book that I remember not counting the Bible was The Wizard of Oz given to me when I was six years old. Books can take you places you have never been, teach you things you did not know, and enrich your life. If you are not a reader, you are missing out on so much good stuff. My mother taught me to love books. My earliest memories of my childhood are of my mother reading stories about God to my siblings and me at bedtime and then we would knell beside our bed and pray. If you have a book that has made a difference in your life, please send me an email. I would love to hear from you. 1. All In – Mark Batterson You are one decision away from living a totally different life 2. Walking with God – John Eldredge Talk to Him. Hear from Him. Really. 3. Boundaries – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend When to Say Yes When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life 4. Created to Be God’s Friend – Henry T. Blackaby How God Shapes Those He Loves 5. Broken Down – Paul David Tripp Living Productively In a World Gone Bad 6. Loneliness – Elizabeth Elliott It can be a wilderness. It can be a pathway to God. 7. The Insanity of God – Nik Ripkin A Faith Resurrected 8. Wild at Heart – John Eldridge Understanding the Secrets of A Man’s Heart 9. Attachments – Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy Unlocking the Secret for Loving and Lasting Relationships 10. Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain – Paul Hegstrom, PH.D Understanding the Effects of Your Wounded Past 11. The Five Love Languages – Dr. Gary Chapman How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate 12. Having A Mary Heart in A Martha World – Joanna Weaver Finding Intimacy With God In The Busyness of Life 13. When God Stopped Keeping Score How to Break Free From A Past Filled With Hurt, Guilt, and Anger Through the Power of Forgiveness – R.S. Clark, M.Ed. The Bible is the most important book written and God’s instruction book to us on how to do life. We learn how to love, guard our hearts, pray, how to love and serve other people, develop relationship with God and serve Him, and much more. This is one book we ought not neglect. God speaks to us through His Word guiding and teaching us bringing us closer to Him. Brenda Luther Thirteen One Coaching...
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Posted by Brenda Luther on May 18, 2015 in Family, Marriage Tips, Personal Growth Tips, Spiritual Help, Values
Attributes of love… 1. is patient 2. is kind 3. is not jealous 4. is not boastful, proud, or rude 5. does not demand 6. is not irritable 7. keeps no record of wrong 8. is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out 9. never gives up 10. never loses faith 11. is always hopeful 12. endures through every circumstance 13. will last forever Love is defined in I Corinthians 13:4-8 giving us a description of God’s kind of love. Our selfish nature goes against this kind of love because it is selfless and not focused on our needs, but on the needs of others. To love directing love outward and not inward toward ourselves we need God’s help to set aside our selfish nature. The more Christlike we become the more love we can receive and share. Faith, hope, and love are intertwined together. It takes faith, hope in the power of God, and acts of commitment and sacrifice as we allow God to love others through us expecting nothing in return. “…but if I didn’t love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.” I Corinthians 13:1-3 brenda luther thirteenonecoaching.com ...
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Posted by Brenda Luther on Mar 13, 2015 in Marriage Tips, Personal Growth Tips, Recent News
In marriage when reality and disillusionment pervades the spirit and the original feelings of love evaporates it is time to step back, look at your strengths and the successes you have experienced in your relationship. God said in Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” God does not want you to give up on your marriage but continue to trust and put your hope in Him. Acts of kindness, encouragement, and offering forgiveness helps to strengthen your relationship. It is possible, if couples desire, to recapture love and passion for one another by seeking to understand one another’s strengths. All of us desire to be heard, known, and loved. We suffer emotionally when we feel hurt, neglected, or misunderstood. Understanding our strengths help us to bond the marriage relationship, creating a relationship that brings joy and fulfillment. You may feel that all is hopeless and feelings for one another are dead but God has placed each of us exactly where He wants us to be. In Jeremiah 29:11 the Lord declares, “For I know the plans I have for you…” Evaluate and recognize each others strengths and weaknesses. I Corinthians 7:7 “…But each man has his own gift from God, one has this gift, another has that.” God gives each one of us different gifts and strengths to compliment one another. Have you ever considered that we all have different gifts but love is available to all of us? Allow God to use those gifts and strengths you possess to strengthen your marriage and ask Him to love your spouse through you. Embrace and celebrate your differences in your marriage and make the choice to be in the relationship and love one another. “True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.” (M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, p 119)...
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Posted by Brenda Luther on Feb 24, 2015 in Marriage Tips, Recent News
Things to Think About 1. Take supply of what is really critical in your life. How would you invest your time on the off chance that you had six months to live? How would you consider you relationship in an unexpected way? 2. Acknowledge trade off and endure the steady contrasts. Most content couples figure out how to live with huge contrasts about cash, in-laws, excursions, family errands, and so forth. Recognizing the contrasts between you doesn’t need to mean you concur with them. 3. Distinguish and separate your dissatisfactions. Disappointments originate from numerous sources, work, youngsters, school and so forth. Dissatisfactions can originate from the present and the past. Abstain from dumping dissatisfactions on your spouse that have a place some where else. Things to Do 4. Find your spouse doing something right. Search for spouse practices that are satisfying, and compliment your spouse when he or she does them. 5. Shock your spouse with astuteness. Utilize your knowledge of your spouse to satisfy him or her out of the blue. Permit your spouse to find your insightfulness by her or himself. Do not get angry if your spouse misses your effort. 6. Cut out “couple time” that your spouse will appreciate. Our occupied lives frequently fill up with errands and daily tasks. Take time to spend with your partner. Deal with Tense Moments 7. Before responding indignantly, count to ten. This old maxim really helps. Talk your point, however without outrage. Each expression of negative feelings takes five declarations of positive feelings to recapture a position of neutral feelings. 8. Arrange an alternative spot to talk about antagonistic issues. Moving from your standard area of contentions to an alternate room can move your contradictions enough to decrease negative sentiments and present new thoughts. 9. Take a time out. At the point when issues get heated, pleasantly declare a twenty-moment time out and after that come back with a cool tone and the aim to trade off. 10. When you know you have made a mistake, apologize. Few of us live with a spouse without committing a few errors. Concede your issue, say you’re sorry, and investigate methods for maintaining a strategic distance from the error later on. Listen with Your Heart 11. Give solutions and support. Feeling connected is a strong desire in a relationship. Numerous spouses look to soothe the disappointments of day by day life by imparting them to a spouse. Truly listening cultivates togetherness. Listen first. In the event that an answer jumps out at you say, “When you are prepared, dear, I have an answer that may be useful to you.” When your spouse is prepared, she or he will be more open to your thought. 12. Profoundly listen to your spouse. On an issue that is critical to your spouse, rehash your spouse’s words so he or she knows you are truly tuning in. Keep this up and when your spouse is done, say the three most difficult words in a relationship, “Is there more?” Continue listening...
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Posted by Brenda Luther on Feb 24, 2015 in Marriage Tips, Recent News
In the event that you are one of the numerous spouses and wives who want a deeper closeness with your mate, yet aren’t certain where to begin or what moves to make, let me recommend a few tips for you here: 1. Don’t Expect Immediate Change It is exceptionally uncommon for a relationship to move from lacking spirituality to strong growth overnight. It takes sustaining and pruning over the long haul to have a beautiful garden; in the same way, it requires some serious energy and time to develop to profound closeness. Thus, a great spot to begin is by planting the seeds of spiritual growth. 2. Pray For Your Spouse This is a simple suggestion and one that is easy to start, yet one that numerous couples neglect. Please note that I’m not discussing hours of prayer here, but simply a daily time to pray to God for your companion and your relationship. Paul’s recommendation to Timothy was to “teach yourself with the end goal of piety” (I Timothy 4:7). As you figure out how to give your relationship to God and begin praying to God for one another every day, you’ll be creating a powerful discipline and propensity in your home. Pray to God for your life partner’s necessities and look for God’s will for how you can serve your companion. Indeed this one basic demonstration of every day prayer to God for your mate will make a difference. 3. Pray Together If your spouse is interested in it, pray together every day. If your spouse is not profoundly inspired, then keep praying to God and do it at a supper or an alternate time that appears to be less scary. I know one couple who began praying together consistently with the wife basically saying, “God, thank you for our sustenance. Thank you for the kids. Thank you for my husband, Jack. Help us to be a God-respecting couple. So be it.” One day, following quite a while of that request to God, Jack said, “Let me pray, as well.” He said, “God, I’m really not much of a prayer, however I agree with Janet, and a debt of gratitude is in order regarding Janet’s heart for you. So be it, once more.” After a while the children got included as well. Following a year Jack and Janet were feeling better praying together. I accept this is genuine: “Couples who pray together, stay together.” 4. Worship Together Regularly A characteristic piece of becoming together profoundly is worshipping together. Shockingly, a few couples don’t have the benefit of worshipping together. Maybe one works or simply won’t go to church. This is an area to continue your quest to God; search for ways to discover significance together when you can. I know of a spouse who consented to go to church with his wife once a month. As opposed to annoying or censuring about the other three weeks, she made a major ordeal out of that one morning a month by serving fun food and transforming it into a pleasurable occasion. Within a year he was going most Sundays. 5. Create...
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Brenda Luther is a Professional Christian Life Coach with an Advanced Certificate in Christian Life Coaching and a Diploma in Christian Life Coaching. She is also a member of the Life Care Team at The Summit Church in Kernersville, NC and a member of AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors). 
